I am not a licensed therapist. If you are suffering from a major disorder and need treatment please seek the help of a professional. If you need help finding a mental health care provider call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) This post contains affiliate links, but I only promote what I already use and love. You can read my full disclosure policy here..
“Marriage. True Love. Happily Ever After.”
I’m going to call it on this one, ya’ll. BULL CRAP! The whole movie/book ideas and plotlines of marriage being your stopping point for finally living happily ever after is total bull crap. It..is…a…lie.
Growing up, I was, and still am, a hopeless romantic. I could make eye contact with a guy from across the room and immediately fall for him, convinced he was my ONE. After all, that’s what all the novels I devoured said. And you could always trust everything you read in a book.
I shudder at my high school self. “Silly girl, that’s not love!” In hindsight, I should have known better, but I was young and foolish.
Oh, and I AM married by the way.
When I first met my husband, we got off to a rocky start. It’s safe to say we were each other’s rebounds. He proposed after two weeks of dating but it was called off since neither one of us were ready. Another kinda a big deal, but not really thing…I’m asexual. Which means a HUGE part of marriage was something I could rarely ever do.
Those of you who know me, know that I love Disney. ESPECIALLY the Little Mermaid. Like, I’m obsessed. Well, here’s a reality check for you(and me). After the wedding for Ariel and Eric, it WASN’T happily ever after. Ariel missed her home more than she would admit, and Eric had to realize that he barely knew Ariel at all and they barely had anything in common.
When you think about marriage, you usually think about just the wedding. And the…physical aspects of it. I know that’s what I did. Planning a wedding was so much fun and I was the happiest I’ve been in awhile. I had something to focus on besides the normal mundane aspects of life.
From a social media standpoint, I was jealous of all my married friends. They kept posting all these cute photos of their husbands and their cute little homes. I wanted that! Their husbands would do the dishes or bring them flowers. Marriage it seemed, was the key to happiness.
Well, it’s not. Marriage is a ton of work. I don’t care how long you’ve known each other, or dated. Marriage officially removes the rose-colored glasses that dating each other keeps on you. I knew my flaws and my husband’s. What I didn’t know where the smaller details.
Marriage is Work!
We knew that he was a gamer and I was a bookworm. What I didn’t know were the lengths we would go to to avoid the others hobby. Listening to the difference in gaming mods and equipment for over an hours? I don’t think so. Going to a bookstore and just reading? Again, no chance. Our differences were standing out and compromising wasn’t happening.
Marriage is hard, okay? We all know this. That’s not going to change anytime soon. We try to get married so quickly because it fits into the plan we have for our life. I was supposed to be married and have a kid by 25. I got the marriage part down but I don’t plan on kids anytime soon.
True love and soulmates are total bullcrap. I’m calling it again. Since when did we need our partner’s validation that we are needed and worth something? It’s time to heal our hearts and minds and just be happy with ourselves.
I’ll step off my soap box now. Keep smiling.