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“Am I ugly?” If you ever try to type those words into a search bar, they are usually the first ones that pop up. In today’s society, there’s an undeniable amount of pressure to look and act a certain way. I’m not even talking about Hollywood or celebrities. While yes, they have the pressure, I’m talking more about us everyday folks.
I am ugly. And no, that’s not to hear protests of the opposite. I mean that in today’s idea of beauty I have always been rated a 7 on my best day. That’s with the right outfit and my hair done and my makeup perfect. On my normal everyday face, I’m a 3. Why the numbers? Because that’s what I’ve been told my whole life.
“Was I Really That Ugly?”
The husband and I had a friend over recently and he made a comment about how he and my husband never dated girls based on physical appearance. I didn’t say anything, but the comment crushed me. As a teen, my best friend was absolutely stunning, even without makeup. There had been snide comments from others close to me that she would never have to work as hard as me to be beautiful.
While I don’t disagree, it wasn’t her physical appearance that made me be friends with her. We both were hopeless romantics and avid readers. She was funny and highly intelligent. And she was fiercely loyal to her friends.
Was my worth based more on my physical appearance than my personality? People would avoid eye contact with me, refuse to be seen with me….was I truly that unwanted? Was I really that ugly?
There were times I questioned my ability to help others. Could I really be a Life Coach and help others through depression if I looked this way? Would I ever amount to anything other than someone to be avoided in person?
“She’s Not Totally Unfortunate Looking.” -Elle Woods
It has been years for me to come to terms with this. I was never going to be a 10 or even an 8. Someone quoted that even when I lost weight, it wouldn’t help because I had an ugly face. Is that really my only value of character? The length of my hair and makeup on my face? Was I unable to be loved because of my face?
My husband can disagree with that. My family and the true friends I have can always disagree with that. There is so much love in my life despite my physical appearance. Beauty isn’t a definition of character. I won’t ever be a model or be showered in compliments all the time. Instead, I’ve been blessed with real and true friends that can see past my imperfections. My husband loves my flaws and sees me as someone worthy to be loved. He believes I’m beautiful because he also knows me. My character, my personality. Who I am on the inside.
And that’s what really matters.
Until next time my lovelies. As always, keep smiling.
p.s. Halloween is coming up ya’ll, and I’m so excited to show ya’ll my costume/cosplay I’m doing. Hint: it involves Disney and Anime at the same time. Who is dressing up this year? Are ya’ll ready for it? I know I can’t wait!