Self-Esteem

Am I Ugly?

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Am I ugly? Going inside the ugly truth of being pretty and lovable. Self-esteem. Visit us today at the heartbreak diet.

 

“Am I ugly?” If you ever try to type those words into a search bar, they are usually the first ones that pop up. In today’s society, there’s an undeniable amount of pressure to look and act a certain way. I’m not even talking about Hollywood or celebrities. While yes, they have the pressure, I’m talking more about us everyday folks. 

I am ugly. And no, that’s not to hear protests of the opposite. I mean that in today’s idea of beauty I have always been rated a 7 on my best day. That’s with the right outfit and my hair done and my makeup perfect. On my normal everyday face, I’m a 3. Why the numbers? Because that’s what I’ve been told my whole life. 

“Was I Really That Ugly?”

The husband and I had a friend over recently and he made a comment about how he and my husband never dated girls based on physical appearance. I didn’t say anything, but the comment crushed me. As a teen, my best friend was absolutely stunning, even without makeup. There had been snide comments from others close to me that she would never have to work as hard as me to be beautiful. 

While I don’t disagree, it wasn’t her physical appearance that made me be friends with her. We both were hopeless romantics and avid readers. She was funny and highly intelligent. And she was fiercely loyal to her friends.  

Am I ugly? Visit us as the Heartbreak Diet

 

Was my worth based more on my physical appearance than my personality? People would avoid eye contact with me, refuse to be seen with me….was I truly that unwanted? Was I really that ugly?

There were times I questioned my ability to help others. Could I really be a Life Coach and help others through depression if I looked this way? Would I ever amount to anything other than someone to be avoided in person?

“She’s Not Totally Unfortunate Looking.” -Elle Woods

It has been years for me to come to terms with this. I was never going to be a 10 or even an 8. Someone quoted that even when I lost weight, it wouldn’t help because I had an ugly face. Is that really my only value of character? The length of my hair and makeup on my face? Was I unable to be loved because of my face?

My husband can disagree with that. My family and the true friends I have can always disagree with that. There is so much love in my life despite my physical appearance. Beauty isn’t a definition of character. I won’t ever be a model or be showered in compliments all the time. Instead, I’ve been blessed with real and true friends that can see past my imperfections. My husband loves my flaws and sees me as someone worthy to be loved. He believes I’m beautiful because he also knows me. My character, my personality. Who I am on the inside. 

And that’s what really matters. 

Click Here To Sign Up For Text Therapy To Start Kicking Depression In The Face. 

Until next time my lovelies. As always, keep smiling. 

p.s. Halloween is coming up ya’ll, and I’m so excited to show ya’ll my costume/cosplay I’m doing. Hint: it involves Disney and Anime at the same time. Who is dressing up this year? Are ya’ll ready for it? I know I can’t wait! 

 

 

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27 thoughts on “Am I Ugly?

  1. I love this post. Everybody has asked this question at some point. The standards of beauty are astronomical and somehow it’s always okay for women to be judged based on looks. Thanks for sharing this amazing read.

  2. My brother had me convinced I was ugly. I worked hard to be good at school and a terrific athlete because it was a way to be validated. I went to Uni and the guys were falling over themselves to date me. It was nice for a few days but I realized that they only saw the outside me and not the Amazon within. In a way, my brother did me a favor.

    1. Looks fade over time. You could be on the cover of every magazine and people will fawn all over you, but true friends love you at your worst! I know the pressure though. My ex would check my stomach to make sure I was losing weight and not gaining it and I couldn’t be seen with him unless I had my makeup on.

  3. I think most of us would agree that we’ve had this same question at least one point in our lives. Its unfortunate that society places such value on the outward appearance when it’s the inside that truly matters. There are some beautiful people that are so ugly on the inside, their good looks can’t even make them decent people.

  4. Wow this is very heartbreaking. It’s heartbreaking because it’s so true. Most of our lives, we will be just based on our outer appearance and not the our brains. Even if a woman becomes the president, you better believe that her appearance will be the topic of conversation half the time. I hate that our society is this way.

    http://www.offficiallychic.com

  5. Such an honest and relatable post. Everyone has definitely asked this question in their lifetime but it is not what we look like that defies us! Awesome honesty girl!

  6. My first reaction reading was I can’t believe people would be so horrible but unfortunately, I can totally believe it and it sucks.

    But I think you’re more than right about what matters is on the inside. Honestly, I find that something with an ugly personality makes them an ugly person no matter their physical appearance, And vice-versa – if someone has a great personality they instantly become more attractive. Unfortunately, there will always be awful people in the world that judge based solely on appearance but those people are probably pretty ugly on the inside.

  7. I can remember as a kid being bullied about my looks and those comments have carried into my adult life as well. I now know as an adult that what is on the outside is what is important and I strive to be as authentic as I can.

  8. Ugh, ppl can be so mean in todayโ€™s society. It used to be bad when I was younger but nowadays, they donโ€™t even TRY to hide it. I developed a thicker skin and thankfully, Iโ€™ve passed that on to my kids ๐Ÿ’•

  9. This is a really inspiring post – thanks for sharing your own experiences. There are a lot of societal pressures these days (particularly on young people) and it’s important to remember what really defines you.

  10. Wow! I’m so happy for you being vocal about something so intimate and vulnerable. I hope other people are touched to reach out and discuss their issues to grow. Never should you have to compare yourself to others in order to be validated. I’m glad that you at least have a circle of loving people to remind you that.

  11. Love this post. You are inspiring. I think u look beautiful even without make up both inside and outside. I think u could b a model up there with the best of them. Whatever losers called u ugly r poopyheads. I love u girly. Thank u for ur amazing blog. I needed these reads today! โค๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’›

  12. It is so true that what is inside us is so much more important, but we are so good at convincing ourselves that what is on the outside matters so much more. The media doesnโ€™t make it easy either, with self esteem being such a fragile state, it only takes a word or a look for it to shatter us. Thanks for speaking up about this, we need more love and we need to spread it like wildfire!

  13. This is such an honest and inspiring post. Most people, eve the most attractive, struggle with self-image. I think it’s part of being human. It’s a great idea to confront those issues and try to change them within ourselves.

  14. I really enjoyed reading this honest, thought provoking post. We grow up looking at images of what society tells us are ideal standards of beauty. It takes a lot of reprogramming to be truly comfortable in our own skin.

  15. I totally get what you mean. But I realized that this whole beauty thing was based on most patriarchal standards of what a “beautiful woman” is. Here in South Africa, it used to be a light-skinned curvy woman, then it became a dark-skinned, but “not too dark” curvy woman, until it became just a curvy woman. Beauty is you feeling happy and good about yourself. Screw what everyone else thinks. ๐Ÿ™‚

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